2001-10-17
Hello friends.
I haven't been online since I made that last entry. I'm using my uncle's computer and I'm like a kid in a..... someplace better than a candy store. I've been travelling all around and my adrenalin is up and I'm smiling. God, I miss all of you. And I miss this. I miss writing. I have gone through some really huge stuff and I was craving the ability to type it all out. Then I would be able to see it. But I did it without my beloved journal and the support of my beloved online friends.
So here's the scoop. I am so disgustingly happy it even annoys me.
He left that day. Things got kind of ugly. He punched holes in the walls. I got the locks changed. Yaddy, yaddy. He lashed out at me all over town. He is still acting like a little boy who is having a tantrum because someone took his favourite toy away. But I am so certain that this is the very best thing for both of us that I don't mind. I don't mind that he is trashing me to all my friends, and being angry and hating me. If that is what he has to do to heal then fine. What he is also doing is confirming that I made the right decision. Yeesh, that guy has issues. And I do honestly hope that he finds peace on his journey but I am also ecstatic that I won't be along for the ride.
And I thought of passwording or moving so he won't read this but then I thought...whatever! If he wants to hurt himself more by reading about how relieved I am that he is gone and how I am really happy in my life right now. Go to it mister. You have the choice to read this or not.
So I'm moving to Kamloops. It's one ferry ride and a four hour drive from where I live now. This is a really long story and I don't have the energy to tell the whole thing right now. It's one of those situations where I've been talking and thinking about it so much that I don't want to write about it.
Brief synopsis (that will probably end up long):
I have fallen madly in love. I have met the most amazing man of the whole world. The moment I looked at him I knew that I needed to spend the rest of my life with him. Cheesy and stereotypical I know, but so true, so true, so true.
I have been telling myself that I am moving there for other reasons. To get away from my controlling mother and finally have the chance to grow up. I have wanted to move there for about 6 years. It is much cheaper to live. One of my bestfriends lives there. I can do my education through an apprenticeship instead of studying out of books.
But when it comes down to it really I am moving there to be with him.
Here's the details.
He's 31.
He has two sons, 8 and 4, that he has half time.
He is amazing. Kind, considerate, motivated. I could go on for hours. He's respectful, and real. Giving, loving, supportive.
He runs a trucking company that his dad owns that he will soon own.
He has a beautiful house and truck and hot tub and camping trailer and motorbikes and snow mobiles and jet skis. And I don't want his stuff. What I want is this man who is motivated enough to go and get something when he wants it. I want a man who has fun. I need a partner that plays. I don't play enough. I need to balance my work with play or I get really cranky.
Him and Chloe just love eachother. It was instant connnection. She is more comfortable with him than friends that she has known for years.
And some would ask if this is rebound. And I would answer like this...He gives me everything emotionally that I never got from SelfishMan. I want to be in a relationship. I don't need a break to get over SelfishMan. I was hurt and healed so many times in the last year that all my hurting is done. Now it is just joy. Joy and relief.
NewGuy is the bestfriend of my really good friend that lives up there. She has been telling him about me for a year. Knowing we were perfect for eachother but keeping her mouth shut because I was otherwise distracted. I cannot thank her enough for introducing us.
I am so excited to move and start this new phase of my life.
I probably won't be back online for a bit. Maybe a couple weeks after I move. So until then I'll be missing all of you.
Take Great Care of Yourself.
