2001-08-21
Something just touched my heart. Nothing gross. Just a good feeling. I just went through my daily reads and Clare wrote about how her husband got his bum all wet from going down the slide to dry it off for their son. Sigh.....that is one of the sweetest things I have ever read. All I want is a partner who is willing to do things like that. I want a partner who is willing to take my child to the park or even want to come with me when I go.
See, when I first had Chloe I wanted her all to myself. I was her everything, the center of her world. I was The Shit. I couldn't imagine sharing her love or our experience with anyone. She was mine. But now...
Now I see couples in the grocery store with their clothes all funky-like and and good hair and the man is playing with the one-year-old while the woman chooses steaks for dinner. I want that. I want someone to love me and love my daughter. Granted the man in the grocery store could've been the kids uncle or the mom's best friend or something but still.....it's the feeling, not the circumstances.
In these circumstances I know I will never have that feeling.
And the woman with the great skirt and good haircut probably never thinks twice about having someone to grocery shop with or play with the kids or tell her that she should get these crackers instead of those ones because Billy likes them better. I bet she is bitter about something else in this world. I bet she doesn't even know how nice it must be to have someone to love her and love her child. And how nice it must be to have someone to help carry the groceries in when she gets home.
