2002-02-19
Aaahhhhhhhh *stretches arms out*
I should be studying. I always should be doing something that I am not doing. That way I feel guilty for everything I do because I should be doing something else.
Things here are fairly good. I am a little scared for my sister. Her husband is not being the nicest fellow and she is eight months pregnant. While we were down for the weekend I didn't even see him. He went out with my husband-to-be and came home at 6 in the morning (mine came home at 4). We got up around 9 and presumed that her hubby was sleeping downstairs.
He called at 2 in the afternoon saying he was in Whistler. Two hours from their home. He didn't think he would be home until the next day because he didn't have a ride. This is not the first time he has done this. I am sure it will not be the last time.
He brings guys into their house all the time. And my sister is sleeping and their baby will be sleeping and some guy that The Naughty Husband doesn't even know will be hanging around, touching her stuff and using her dishes.
My Husband-to-be thinks that my sister's Husband-that-is does cocaine. I never really thought of that. His actions sure fit the type. It makes a lot of confusing information make sense. But I like to live in denial where everyone is nice and respectful and doesn't do drugs. There is no way that my sister's hubby goes out once a week and puts his paycheck up his nose. My sister is too great to be with a man like that. She is too great for anyone to treat her like that.
I have been uneasy and sad and angry and worried. No one can be mean to my sister. It doesn't happen like that. People are mean to me and she talks to me about it and her life is always plain, and boring, and the same. It is always balanced. And then I wonder if her marriage will break-up. It makes me sad to think of how sad she will be. I guess this is what it is like when you really, really, for real love someone. It's that feeling like you would kindly end your relationship and feel the pain for her.
I am getting a little ahead of myself here. But I am worried-girl.
I went off the patch yesterday and my body wants some delicious nicotine. Shoo cravings, shoo.
Well, I must go study and eat a lot of chips. I'm trying to put some weight on, that way everyone will know that I quit smoking.......
Until sometime soon....
