Thursday, May. 01, 2003
I do not like my home care worker.
I get the same one most of the time because she lives in my neighbourhood. She is one of those know-it-all-talks-too-much women who speaks to you like you know nothing. I think she thinks I'm stupid or I got a serious head injury and forgot half the things I have learned in this lifetime. And she talks non-stop. Scrubbing my floor, talking. Putting me in the shower, talking. Even when I give her obvious body language saying "I don't want to listen to you anymore. I am going to walk/hobble away now." She keeps on talking, and talking, her divorce, her boyfried's digestive problems, she keeps talking.
News Flash!! Shut Up!!!
Today she was complaining about how achy she is in the morning. You want achy?? Jump in this body at 6am Chatty Cathy!!
And how busy she and her boyfriend are. How dare she. Busy? If Ken and I were both healthy right now we would be running our asses off. Instead he is running it off alone. Err.
Thursday, May. 01, 2003I feel like a boring complainer. I have nothing more exciting to update about than my injuries. I watch movies and nap all day, go to physio three times a week.
Oh! Wait! I went to Walmart the other day. But, see, you guys always go to walmart. It's not exciting for you. It makes me deliriously happy.
And...I transferred myself in and out of the shower yesterday. That means that soon I won't have to put on a nudy show when I want to bathe. No more strange women helping me into the tub by lifting me under my armpits.
See, the little things are so exciting....but you get yourself in and out of the shower everyday.
Friday, Apr. 25, 2003I don't hate that this accident happened. I know it was supposed to happen for me. It is going to make my life better and has already made me a better person. I was minimally depressed while I was in the hospital. Three days out of 35. I had several nurses tell me I was amazing or inspirational. It feels good to be the best person I can be right now. I want life to be good.
Did you ever get clear on exactly what happened? I have no memory of the accident but I do know the story, and my injuries. I could sure relay it here...if you are curious at all. Because we all get curious sometimes, or most times.
I'm going to give my dogs a pig's ear and then eat popcorn while I watch Dr. Phil. Now do you see why I don't hate this? I could be at work rigth now....
Wednesday, Apr. 23, 2003I'm using the mouse with my right hand!
Tuesday, Apr. 22, 2003I feel far more like Myself today than I have in a long time (even with the scraggly gimp arm). I played fetch with my dogs, only four throws, and it felt so good. I'm so happy to have arms at all. I love you arms!!
Tuesday, Apr. 22, 2003ugh. i went in for x-rays this morning. i'm so glad i didn't know what was really in store or i would have been shitting my pants about it for two weeks prior. i had x-rays, yes. i also got the splint off my right arm. i had had surgery on that arm previously, pinning the radius and puting a plate on the ulna, right at the wrist. little did i know that the pins were sticking out through my skin, they aren't inside neatly keeping things together, and he removed them today......with pliers......they were holding my bone together.....and these weren't 'pins' they were shishkabob skewers......ouchhh.....
he asked if i wanted to keep the 'pins' i bitchily denied
and i am left with a right arm that looks like it belongs in ahorror movie, coming out of a grave. ew. peely, skinny, wrinkly, dry, weak, scabby....ugh.....the palm looked like it had a yellow glove on....but it was just dead skin
are you grossed out at all? because you should try looking at it.....or sleeping next to it!
Thursday, Apr. 17, 2003Hotmail closed my email account while I was locked up. How frustrating. My Swappington's mail goes there and so now I am to send a book to someone but their address is sitting in my nonexsistent email inbox........and how will I get it to the post office anyways? C'mon legs.....hurry up dammit!
Wednesday, Apr. 16, 2003Thank you for all the good lovin's.....
One of the most enjoyable things about being home is being 'alone'. I hadn't noticed the absence of time alone, while in the hospital, but I realize the beauty of it now. I spent so much time with nurses poking at me, constantly changing room-mates (some great people, some really, really not great at all), people could always hear me when I was on the phone, someone could alwys check and see what I was watching on TV, I had my temp/pulse/blood pressure taken three times a day, there was always ringing, buzzing, announcements on the PA system, there was nothing to stop the person beside me to take a huge crap while I'm eating dinner....with only a curtain between us.
I could do whatever I want right now and no one would ever know. There is so much comfort in that thought. I am alone. I can't go down my front steps without an escort, but while I'm in here, I am alone.
Enjoy the little things, I shit you not, they could so easily be altered.
Tuesday, Apr. 15, 2003Hello, hello, hello! It's me! I'm home. i'm going to stop using capitals because i only have one hand to type with, my left hand at that. i'm right handed.
so, i got home yesterday about two in the afternoon. five weeks, to the day, since i went in the hospital. there is a million feelings and observations i want to share but this one finger typing is making me dizzy. ugh. i got up and walked with a walker last thursday for the first time. it amazes me how there is noticable improvements in strength and mobility each day. the human body is a truly, truly, truly amazing machine. my blessed body! what is left of it anyways.....i've lost somewhere around 25 pounds....of muscle, but i look damn skinny!!
gotta go, my ass is getting sore, i have a fracture in my sacrum so it hurts if i sit too long.
much love and gratitude to all of you that sent your love and angels and good thoughts. i have a battle in front of me but i am now more than certain that i am capable of anything.....
Tuesday, Apr. 08, 2003Good news !!!! .. Rachael was put on the tilt table yesterday ( a kind of bed that you are strapped to and then they slowly tilt it to a standing position without putting too much weight on your legs ) she started at about a 30degree tilt and then she went all the way up to 60 degrees , a little bit of nausea and sweating but she felt good ..the goal is 90 degrees but they said if she does good on it again today then she could possibly try sitting on the side of her bed by the end of the day !!! It's so exciting sounds like maybe shes on the home stretch . The occupational Therapist also came to see her yesterday and is starting to get things organized for what she might need at home when she returns . Have a wonderful day everyone .. It all sunshine here !!! Liz : )
