2001-07-25
I want to be perfect. But I want to be exactly how I am.
I want to be alone and independant and able to do everything my way. But I want to be in a relationship.
I want to be thinnner and healthier but I don't want to exercise or eat differently.
I want to be a Chinese Doctor but I don't want to study so much.
I want more money but I don't want to work.
I want to make clothes but I don't want to learn how to sew.
I want to live here, or somewhere else, or where I last was.
I want to be straight but I want to be a lesbian. I just want to be loved.
I want to be a good mother but I just want to take care of myself.
I want to have longer hair, and nicer clothes but I don't want those things to matter.
I want to be kind and loving and non-judgemental but I don't want to heal.
I want to be spiritually aware but I don't want to search.
I want to be happy but I don't want to change.
I want my bathtub to be clean but I don't want to scrub it.
I don't want my mother to try to control me and my parenting and my life. But I want her financial help and babysitting.
I want to be sensitive but I don't want to get hurt.
I want to have sex but I don't want to hate it.
I want to work out all my issues but I don't want to feel the pain.
I want to try without any effort.
