2001-07-28
Well, he slept on the couch last night. We didn't talk at all. Then this morning he got up and left for work without saying anything. This shit is not what I need when I'm under mega-time crunch of studying.
And I have really bad cramps.
Poo-poo. Poor me.
The comment in my guestbook really bothered me. I know who that person is and it shocks me that she would say something so cruel and hurtful. And then I think ... maybe I don't deserve anything better than him. But I can't let people's juvenile agendas get into my head. And I know in my heart that being alone is better than him. So I know that I can always have better.
I'm feeling so tired. I'm feeling weak and sad and like I can't do this anymore. For the most part I get through the days without much struggle. But sometimes I get worn out. I feel sorry for myself and hate the things I have to do every day. I sit around and ask why me. And then it all goes away. And I get my strength and coping skills back and I carry on.
Having the whole month of August off will be good. I need to take time to nurture myself.
For now I'm going to do mine and Chloe's laundry and leave all of his in the basket. I'm tired of hanging up all of his shirts.
If I could figure out why he isn't speaking to me, that would be nice. Now I'm going to have to worry about it all day.
