2001-09-07
I am feeling very sad and lonely and sorry for myself. I have moved out of denial. All my friends are so busy and I seem to be at home a lot. Alone. Well The Bastard comes and goes but it is more lonely when he is here than when he is not.
I just want this to be over. I just want to be able to focus on my studying. Maybe I should move. Then I could do it this weekend and get it over with. Get this part of my life over with.
I made some really great friends when I was away on my little road trip last week. They are who I have talked to most about all of this. But it only makes me want to run away from here and be there. It's safe and fun and happy there. I almost decided to go there next weekend. Well, I still might. But I think it would be best if I stayed here and worked all of this out and then started leading a double life up North. I think going there would be so great but it would really suck when I had to come home. I know I wouldn't want to come home.
Every day is a week long right now. I swear. Draggin'.
Sigh. Poor me.
The Bastard has been driving his vehicle, which is registered under my name, without insurance. That means that if he crashes it then I am liable. I get sued for millions and he walks away. I have asked him twice to stop but he keeps doing it. I was on the Insurance place's hotline today trying to get it towed from his workplace. It turned out I would get a fine if I busted him. It is just as well I suppose.
There is nowhere else to go except up real slow........I miss my image up there. I tried to fix it but failed. I'm sure it will annoy Kim enough that she will come and rescue me.
